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Not buying what you're selling (Ken)

I am human, as are you. I know that you were/are deeply hurt, and I am sorry for doing that to you. If I could do it all over again, I wouldn't, but the past can't be undone.  But I am sorry, I really mean it. Coming via an email, it probably doesn't seem like much, but I don't wish anything bad for you, only the best.

I think you'll move on and heal just fine. I'm not the only relationship you've ever had, and others have dicked you over in some way. I stated earlier that we are human beings, and human beings screw stuff up in relationships. Not all relationships are perfect and harmonious - we each have our past relationships to reflect upon to realize that. This one is another ruined relationship among many others in the world that are in ruins. The terrible thing is that I did it. That it happened to you. When you read about something like this in People about Brad Pitt/Angelina Jolie/Jennifer Aniston, we take perverse pleasure in absorbing all the details. When it happens to us, it's a damned tragedy. Again, you know this.

But don't get sanctimonious and act as if you're perfect. We know enough of each others pasts to go back and forth and turn this into a dirt-slinging mudfest. Is that what you want?  Do you really want me to go point-by-point? I don't want that, I'm certain that you don't, either.

What I would like is this - to know that you've moved on, that you're successful, that you're business is flourishing and that you're family is well. I haven't contacted you yet because I knew that it would only result in something like this, something mean. While I may understand your anger and bitterness, I'm sure that you know that this really accomplishes nothing in the long-run. 

I am sorry, Joce, and I wish I never hurt you. You're right about many things - one of the biggest is that I never really knew what I had until I didn't have you anymore. You were a large part of my life that I didn't truly respect and honor. I am sorry, but you don't believe that, and there's nothing I can do to change how you feel.

I wish you the best.  I hope everything works out the way you want it to. 

take care,
Ken





I never claimed to be perfect. However, my indiscretions and those of any other guy who has dicked me over aren't even in the same league as what you did.


I can't even pretend that I forgive you or that I ever will. Of course the response from me is mean! What do you expect? "Hey, Ken, I understand you did everything in your power to ruin my life, but hey, no biggie." Not quite. I couldn't even sling the amounts of mud that I think you deserve. A year of pelting you in the face would not be enough. And while I agree there is nothing productive about it, I've wasted so many, many hours and days and months with a twisted stomach and a broken heart, I hardly care that I might waste a few minutes telling you how I feel. It's discouraging, but not unexpected, to know that you've come to terms with your behavior and you've justified it to yourself. Chalked it up to just another failed relationship. Though I'm sure if I'd done something so dreadful, and came off relatively unscathed, I'd feel pretty confident, too. 

I certainly have no use for your "best wishes" and "hopes for success," I can't and don't want the same for you. Sorry. 
Joce