Granted, it’s a weird set up to a date. He drops by your apartment with a mutual friend and your dog bites him on the ankle. It breaks the skin, barely, but when he comes down with flu like symptoms a week later, he goes to the doctor and mentions the bite. They are required to report it to animal control and animal control is required to follow up with you, and you’re required to file all this paperwork proving your dog is not diseased or rabid and then the dog goes on probation. No, he hasn’t bitten any one before, nor has he since, just in case you’re wondering. Anyway, your friends’ friend, Tyree, calls to apologize, he’s embarrassed to have caused you inconvenience, and he’d like to take you out to make it up to you. Sure. Why not?
You meet at the theater. It’s a local indy place and they only take cash. He doesn’t have any cash. You pay for the movie. You take a seat in the middle of the crowded theater. The lights go down, the previews start and you see him bend down to reach into his backpack. He pulls out a giant, foil wrapped burrito. He proceeds to unwrap the burrito and eat it. It smells strongly of onions and beans. Soon the whole theater smells like onions and beans. People are looking around to locate the smell. Who eats a burrito at the movies?
After the movie, and the burrito, he asks if you’d like to get a drink. Sure. Why not? You walk down to a pub near the theater. He orders a drink, you order a drink, and, since you didn’t have a burrito at the movies, and you’re kind of hungry, you order a side of fries. The drinks come. The fries come. Tyree moves the fries to the center of the table and shakes the ketchup onto the plate. He proceeds to eat the majority of the fries. You ask for the bill and when it comes, he pulls out his wallet and a single dollar bill. “For the fries,” he says, smiling. You pay the bill.
You leave the bar and he asks where you’re parked. He walks you to your car and when you arrive, he moves around to the passenger side door and puts his hand on the door handle. You look at him, confused. “Can you give me a ride,” he says? Sure. Why not?