M I had a dream about you the other night. PG/R rated. PG-13, I guess.
J I can't believe you still have dreams about me. It's been 10 years!
M Well, I think of you a lot, actually. I sometimes see things and think...WOW that is something Joce would like, or that is so Joce...
I’m sentimental because the situation with my wife is fairly straight forward...she is boring... but you would probably say that that is also funny sounding coming from me. She is stable. She is predictable. She is easy to please. She reads. She drinks tea. She works in her garden. But, when we argue she lacks passion. That is what is missing...passion. She'd be great to live with when I'm 80. I love her, don't get me wrong, but I still love you. So what's the point...
J Perpetually dissatisfied.
M But you would say I never loved you.
J I don't think you really know what love is. I think you only really truly love yourself. Everything else is just too much work. And I don't have any sympathy for it.
M Well, I think love is something thought of in the past-tense. I mean, I love the memories but we make no more memories. It's grocery shopping and paying the housekeeper...Oh, Joce...I should have met you when I was older.
J No. I'm so much smarter now and I have much less patience. I just won't put up with the drama anymore.That's why I left my last boyfriend, he was a lot like you. He said all the right things but wouldn't follow through. It was all just brilliant sentiments with nothing to back them up.
M That's what I mean, older when I could have handled it. I'm drama less...I like passion, not passion between two people necessary but passion one feels for things important too them...emotion, feeling, color. You are vibrant color.
J I'm more pragmatic, less passion. Passion gets you in tight spaces with borderline personalities. I just want to pay my bills, work on my drawings, laugh with my friends, walk my dog. I don't want a power struggle with an egotistical narcissist. I've had my share of those boys.
M Okay. I hope that you enjoy life.
J Don’t sound so disappointed! You're always welcome to be sentimental about the 20 year old me. But, I'm in my 30s now. I can't face screaming crying fights, demanding somebody to love me. Ug.
M I'm not disappointed Joce. And I don't think of you as a 20 year old anymore, which is why I said I wish I'd met you when I was older. A 20 year old and 30 have little in common, 30 and 40 have more to talk about.
J I'm sure I'm just as boring as your wife. I'm afraid we all are. But, you can think of me however you like. It's not like you'll ever know me otherwise.
M Anyway, I love you, in your own way in your own time. Email me your new address, I'll send you a postcard.
J A postcard from the edge?
M I'm far from the edge...just looking for adventure.