Blog

The Joce Compatibility in Dating Quiz (You)


Start with 100 points. Subtract 1 point for each of the following statements you believe accurately describes you.

  1. I am an only child
  2. I live with roommates
  3. I live at home with my parents
  4. I have been convicted of a crime
  5. I am a vegetarian
  6. I am a vegan
  7. I don’t drink
  8. I don’t remember the last time I changed the sheets on my bed
  9. I have taken a picture of myself in the bathroom mirror with my shirt off with my camera phone
  10. I have taped myself having sex
  11. I consider myself a “cat person”
  12. I consider myself a casual drug user
  13. 4 wheeling is one of my hobbies
  14. I regularly play video games
  15. I do not own a car
  16. I am not employed
  17. I am in debt up to my eyeballs (for reasons other than medical or law school)
  18. I have kids
  19. I am under 5’8”
  20. I own sweatpants and will wear them in public (other than the gym)
  21. I go to the gym every day
  22. I never exercise
  23. I eat fast food/pizza at least once a week
  24. I am a smoker
  25. I enjoy singing karaoke
  26. I don’t wear deodorant
  27. I wear cologne
  28. I never floss
  29. I like Jimmy Buffett
  30. I was in a fraternity in college
  31. I have posted an ad in Craigslist Casual Encounters
  32. I have paid for sex
  33. I own a giant television
  34. The last time I read a book it was required reading
  35. I refer to myself an existentialist
  36. I own a gun (for something other than military service or my job as a police officer
  37. I have cheated on a former girlfriend
  38. I have never been in love
  39. I own a light-up beer sign
  40. I collect empty beer or wine bottles and display them on my windowsill
  41. I have participated in a threesome
  42. I have a subscription to a porn magazine
  43. I have an allergy to peanuts, wheat, or milk
  44. I would consider myself a “picky eater”
  45. I drink to get drunk on a frequent basis
  46. I have never been in a relationship that lasted longer than 6 months
  47. I am divorced
  48. I refuse to dance even when I’ve had a couple of drinks and I’m at my best friend’s wedding
  49. I refer to women as “females”
  50. I have been called “cheap” by a former girlfriend
  51. I live paycheck to paycheck
  52. I do not have a savings account
  53. I think women should open their own doors
  54. I prefer chain restaurants to local places
  55. I drink my coffee with a lot of cream and sugar or I prefer tea over coffee
  56. I need “meds” to get through the day
  57. If I can’t get it at Walmart, I don’t need it
  58. I prefer to go “dutch”
  59. I wear “tighty whities”
  60. I have a full beard, mustache and/or muttonchops
  61. I LARP
  62. I participate in historical reenactments
  63. I am 10 years older or 10 years younger than Joce (Joce is 32)
  64. I am from the northeastern part of the United States
  65. I run marathons
  66. I wear baseball / trucker caps regularly (even if I’m not playing baseball or truckin’)
  67. When I wear a baseball / trucker cap, I turn it to the side
  68. I have a tattoo of a Looney Tune
  69. I have a tattoo of a comic book character
  70. I have a tattoo of a woman’s name (other than my mother)
  71. I have a tattoo of barbed wire around my bicep
  72. “It’s all good” is something I say frequently
  73. I regularly say “and whatnot” at the end of a sentence
  74. I use the terms “lol” and “lmao” on a frequent basis
  75. I have an obsession with Star Wars
  76. I have an obsession with Star Trek
  77. I have an obsession with comic books / comic book characters
  78. I have an obsession with the Lord of the Rings trilogy
  79. I have an obsession with football
  80. I do not know what NPR stands for
  81. I sleep on a mattress on the floor
  82. I am a Sagittarius, Scorpio or Capricorn
  83. College wasn’t for me
  84. I have used the phrase “I carry my God in my pocket”
  85. I use the term “bro” or “bra” when talking to my male friends
  86. I play in a band
  87. I chew gum
  88. I drink more than one soda pop a day
  89. I hate my mother
  90. My mother hates me
  91. I love my chow, pit bull, Chihuahua, cocker spaniel, pug, beagle, Jack Russell terrier, Doberman pinscher, miniature pinscher, wolf mix, or Rottweiler
  92. I have over 300 friends on Facebook or MySpace
  93. I prefer texting to calling
  94. I bought “rims” for my car
  95. I wash my car once a week
  96. I never wash my car
  97. I own a snake, lizard, rat or ferret
  98. I am going bald and growing my hair out at the same time
  99. My hair is long enough to pull back in a pony tail
  100. I dye my hair

1.
Scoring
80-100
Clearly you are a big liar…or my knight in shining armor. Call me immediately for a date! Or to propose! I’ll be happy to give you the best (or next) 4 years of my life.
70-80
Three scenarios are possible: we will go out on 1-2 dates and you will fall in love with me and I will find you wretched OR we will go out on 1-2 dates and I will fall in love with you and you will find me tedious OR we will go out on 1-2 dates and decide we’re better off as friends. Things will be awkward for awhile but we’ll appreciate each other in the end. This is the most likely scenario.
50-70
The best opportunity for a “bad date.” We have just enough in common, or you’re hot enough that I’ll agree to go out with you. I will probably even be hopeful about it. Give him a chance! Maybe he’ll surprise you?! It will be painful and embarrassing and a huge waste of precious time. Of course, it will be fun to tell my friends about later. Sayonara suckah.
40-50
It could never and will never work. Of course, that doesn’t mean I won’t go out with you. I’ll give it the old college try and will hate every second of the “experience.” I will vow never to see/call/talk to you again and I will resent you and look forward to mocking you at my earliest convenience. Or, we will move in together.
0-30
Move along. You should be ashamed of yourself. I’m ashamed of you. Your mom is, too.